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A Girl’s Guide to an MMDA’s heart August 9, 2008

Posted by Me in Uncategorized.
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I was driving to school this morning when two blue uniformed men came over and tapped my window when the red light went on. The MMDA boys were eyeing my plate earlier. Well, there goes my early-to-school-to-study agenda. Pfft.

me: yes sir?

mmda: ma’am good morning po.. pasensy na… pwede patingin po ng car registration?

me: *flash flirty smile* yes of course, basta ikaw *flash another smile again* wait lang po

I fumble through the glove compartment.. hmm, not there. I reach down under the seats.. not there either. Oh great, it’s at the back seat beside the tissue box. So I scramble inside the car, squeezing my ass between the seats and reached for the purple box with the registration papers. As the light flashed green, the mmda guys directed me to move the car to the side.. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF EDSA, underneath the Shangri La MRT station. Oh this is just great.

After several minutes, the MMDA guys let me go. They were very nice and even apologized profusely for ruining my morning and keeping me from my class.

So here I am, writing Chie’s Guide to an MMDA’s heart:

#1 The OMAYGAD Face

This works 90% of the time IF you do it right. When you see an MMDA officer that starts to walk towards you, flash the OMAYGAD Face. How to do this? Widen your eyes like you’re scared and helpless then frown like you desperately need assistance. Bite your lower lip for effect. Both hands on the steering wheel, leaning forward. And before he even thinks of giving you a ticket, wave him over and ask a stupid girlie question or ask his assistance like “ohmygod siiiiiiiiir.. yung buuus ang lapiiiiiit! di ko magalaw yung car.. pa-help naman” even if the bus is about 1 meter away, pretend you’re a helpless driver.

Guy drivers cannot help but feel sorry for you, MMDA included. They will usually get out of their way to help you even especially when you flash them The OMAYGAD Face.

#2 Flash that flirtatious smile

MMDAs are still guys no matter what. You give them that coy smile and that innocent look and they won’t be as harsh. Raise your voice an octave higher when you say “hiyeee” also helps. 

Hopefully you’re dressed pretty enough and don’t look like you just rolled off your bed. Good thing when I got pulled over I already had my nice make up on. Can’t deny that the cleavage was pretty helpful too. Haha. Whatever the case, you gotta flash that flirtatious smile and act friendly.  

#3 The typical helpless girl driver

If they don’t feel sorry for you, they will just dismiss you as that girlie driver and be done with it. The all-girls-are-bad-drivers connotation will work for us on this one.

“Huh? What do you mean? You mean that’s wrong?? Huh?? Whyyyyy?”

“But.. but.. I thought… ”

All guys try to be the Knight in shining armor so acting like the damsel in distress certainly works to our advantage.

#4 Whine and act like you’re on the verge of tears

When you’re done with the typical-helpless-girl-driver bit, start to whine like you’re confused. Put on that irritating high girlie voice and look like you’re in despair. You can lean back on the driver’s seat, put your hand over your eyes and start dabbing your eyes like you’re starting to cry. Keep up the “i don’t know, i didn’t know” whining and sniff a bit.

The MMDA guys usually start to panic and elbow each other when you ‘start to cry’. 

#5 Act crazy and pissed by blaming someone else

If all else fails, blame the government or anybody else for that matter. You must keep up the helpless girlie driver exterior though.. but go a little crazier. The last time I was pulled over I told the MMDA: “So its LTO’s fault? Tell me, can I SUE the GOVERNMENT and LTO for their stupid negligence?? I paid for my registration until 2009 and they knowingly gave me stickers till 2008 only? Mygod, you’re telling me that LTO is ripping me off?? Is that what’s wrong? Can I sue the government?? This is NOT right! Who can I make a complaint to??” 

Poor guy, he thought he said something wrong and apologized to me and let me go. Even offered road assistance as he thought I was a bit distressed hehe.

 

Overall, not all MMDAs are bad really. You just gotta know your way around one, or a few of them (as it seems they like to group together nowadays). I really don’t believe in bribing them and contributing to the corruption in this country. For the girls, just use your charms. For the guys, well… tough luck.

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Comments»

1. Cat Juan - August 17, 2008

Chi!!! This is hilarious! I got caught 3 times in a span of one week. Two of which are unloading passengers at a non loading zone. Hello! ang liit ng karatola niyo? Paano ko malalaman no? My mom told me nga to stop offering na rides to officemates who are going my way kasi it ends up being dangerous pa. By the way, I went back to blogging. Sana totoo na to! Hahahaha!

2. Chie - August 17, 2008

LOLz. Goodness Cat, I got pulled over three times within ONE DAY! Three times I had to work my charms, it was so tiring hahaha.

You lost your mojo eh? Same here.. I think we stopped right about the same time but well, we’ll see how this goes this time around. 😉


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